I had a panic attack the morning of my baby shower. And not just a little one, but the full blown kind with chest pains, hyperventilating, sweating. All of it.
Though a baby shower is basically a right of passage for any first time parents in America, I was extremely apprehensive about having one of my own. In fact, basically from the moment we knew our frozen embryo transfer had been successful (and this babe was sticking around), I was pretty confident this tradition was not for me.
You see, pregnancy after infertility is really hard. Pregnancy after loss is really hard. Any pictures I had once had in my head of what pregnancy was supposed to look like had gone completely out the window this time around. I was just scared….all the time. We didn’t tell our parents about the baby until basically the second trimester, and we didn’t share the news with everyone else until almost the third. I was terrified to read weekly updates about my pregnancy, or take bump photos. Anything that could be perceived as “normal” things to do in pregnancy made my anxiety go through the roof. It was all just so much harder than I thought it would be (and I always thought it would be hard).
So maybe I shouldn’t have been so surprised that I had such high anxiety on the actual day of the big event.
Luckily, it ended up being a perfect day. I was a little late, because of the panic attack, but once I arrived, everything fell into place. The anxiety was gone, and I was able to enjoy a really beautiful day with some of the people I care about the most.
The party was held outdoors at a nearby park. My best friend and my mother hosted the shower, and my mom had insisted on a pavilion rental. It was a good decision. The morning started out with a lot of rain. It was a cooler, fairly overcast all day, but it worked out because that’s actually pretty great weather for photos.
The very first surprise of the day came as soon as I arrived at the pavilion.
My aunt and cousin had flown in to surprise me! I had no idea they would be there, and having some of my extended family (who I never get to see) there to share this amazing day with me made it all so much more special.
The party was beautiful. Obviously, my husband and I have a fond love of traveling, one that we hope to pass on to our child. The “Adventure Awaits” theme was a perfect way to celebrate that love of exploration, while also celebrating the adventure of parenthood that awaits us. My husband even printed a few decor pieces on his 3D printer as a special added touch.
The food was delicious and they even incorporated it all into the theme, picking cheeses, appetizers, and desserts from all over the world. They kept it all cold by filling a baby pool with ice, and now I have the most adorable little pool for what will definitely be a sweltering summer.
I’m not usually the biggest fan of baby shower games, but everything they planned turned out to be really fun. I even enjoyed the one where everyone measured my stomach…though I had not expected to enjoy that one. It helps that my cousin won, and was spot on.
Everyone else did pretty well…even if my oldest friend had me measured at about twice my actual size. 😂
Other games included hanging diapers to a clothes line (which may have been the most fun everyone had playing games), and quickly changing and removing diapers on a CPR doll (I was NOT good at that).
Before we sat down to open all the amazing gifts, I made sure to get a photos with everyone who came. This was probably one of the most important things to me, and I wanted to make sure I got a picture with everyone before i forgot. I’m so glad I have all these amazing photos.
The gifts were all so amazing, thoughtful, and so adorable. My mom had the idea to live stream the gift opening portion of the day, so all of my family for out of town still were able to participate and see my reaction to their gifts.
The day really was perfect and we just felt so incredibly loved. I never thought I would get to have a baby shower, and despite my anxiety surrounding it, I’m so glad I decided to let my mom and lifelong best friend throw us one. It’s a day I will never forget.