“There comes a point where it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore so we give up. That’s when the real work begins. To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all.”
~Grey’s Anatomy
I know I have not been super active on this blog lately, and it isn’t because I have not thought about it. I still check WordPress daily and read everyone’s blogs, and keep up with the world. I just have been at a loss for what to say, so I have avoided posting or commenting. In fact, I have not even replied to the comments on my most recent post (over three weeks ago). That is something that I never do, but in truth, I just can’t find the words.
Even now, writing this is proving to be a bit of a struggle. I have updates. I have plenty of things I could write about…but the tricky part is that I can’t seem to articulate my thoughts right now.
I will post a proper update soon, but for now I will give you the abridged version.
I’ve had a hard time finding hope after our last failed IUI. Despite being super excited about our upcoming trip to Europe (and various other travel plans), I can’t wrap my brain how to act now that I have given up.
When I went in for my ultrasound on Monday, I went in with no joy or expectation. Once I heard the news about how my follicles were progressing during that ultrasound, I could find no excitement. When I went in for our fifth IUI on Thursday, I did so with zero belief that we will actually get pregnant this cycle.
And so I think that’s why I’ve avoided making a post. I have no idea what to say, because I have no hope. I’m tired, and I’m angry, and I really really sad…but I’m not hopeful at all.
So now we wait…but I’m not even sure what I’m waiting for.
I’ll be traveling next week, which will hopefully keep my mind of things. I will try to find some time to share photos and stories from our adventure, so that I can bring a bit of happiness back to this blog.
Until then, thanks for being here.
~Sam
Infertility and Adventures 
I really wish the best for you and Mark. I am so sorry that getting pregnant has not been successful thus far.
I, myself, have endometriosis. I was diagnosed at 20 years old. I knew that my chances of conceiving, when I was ready to start a family, would be a challenge. A few years later I was diagnosed with PCOS, as well. My chances of conceiving now are slim to none. I am 37 years old, have given up any expectations, and I finally accepted the fact that it most likely will not happen. I understand how frustrating and devastating it can be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your kind words, and for reminding me that I am not alone. 💜
LikeLike
Sending you some love and light, as you say there is not much else to say right now. I hope to read a good outcome for you asap and hope that the time away keeps you mind occupied ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. I got to the mountains today, and it’s nice just to be away and breathe in the freshness.
LikeLike
Enjoy your travels! This is a struggle, hope is a hard thing to find-but I will keep my fingers crossed that you will find it again ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I am grateful for our upcoming trip, because it’s nice to have something to look forward to.
LikeLike
I am so sorry you are feeling like this and I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you so much. I hope that your travels provide some distraction and the respite you need. Remember you are not on your own. Sending so much love xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much. I have been thinking of you as well, and keeping up on your blog. I have so much I wanted to say to you, but words have been hard for a while. Please just know that I’m thinking of you often.
LikeLike