“And if you were to ask me
After all that we’ve been through
Still believe in magic
Oh yes I do!”
Monday, I was DONE with this whole process. I was ready to move onto IVF even if it meant taking out a massive loan or opening up a new credit card. I had so little faith that this process could ever actually work for us, and I was tired. I was so so tired.
I’m a little ashamed to admit it, but since getting my period this cycle, I’ve developed a little bit of an “F it all” attitude when it comes to trying to conceive this round. I have not been eating well, I probably drank in excess a bit too much (birthday week amiright?), and I have not really been getting any exercise, aside from what I usually get at work. I mean, I had my ultrasound yesterday morning and then got fast food and soda on my way to work. Who am I?!
As usual, the Letrozole made me hormonal, though it didn’t seem as bad as it has in previous cycles. I got a little emotional last Friday watching a Discovery Channel show where a donkey was reunited with his best goat friend (okay, I totally cried), and Monday night at work I went from feeling super depressed to super wanting to punch people in the face in about one hour. Other than that, things were not too bad.
What concerned me was the lack of the usual ovary pains I normally experience on these meds. Though nowhere near as bad as the Clomid made me feel in IUI cycle one, the Letrozole is still no picnic. The dull ache and stabby pains are not my favoriote, but at least they indicate to me that the pills are doing their job.
I had none of this type of discomfort this cycle, and was therefore unsurprised when I went in for my ultrasound yesterday to the news that I didn’t have any large follicles in my right ovary. This was a bit of a bummer, because if my follicles were not large enough, we may have to wait until Monday to inseminate. I work Monday nights, and so I would have been forced to go to work after the procedure. I worked after my first IUI (which was super painful thanks to my stenotic cervix) and I felt terrible the whole day.
As much as possible, I try to take it easy for a day or two after the procedure…and my job is super physical.
The ultrasound tech continued to perform the ultrasound, moving over to my right ovary, and she gasped. She seemed very pleased as she told me I had one follicle ready to go, but before she said more, she found a second. Both of them were located in my left ovary, and were already measuring at 18mm. “You’ll do the shot tonight,” she told me. “Come in Thursday for insemintaion.”
This was all really good news. To my knowledge, these are the best follicles I have produced thus far, and the first time that I had two strong ones on the same side. I’m hopeful that this increased our chances of conception this month. And yes, I know that it also increased our chances of twins. I was told in my HSG that I have a good size uterus, so we have no reason to cancel this cycle due to the possibility of twins.
I’m also super pleased that we are going in early Thursday morning, because I am off from work until Saturday afternoon. This means that I can take it easy and relax for the few days following my IUI.
I worked really early today, so once I got home I stared cleaning. My husband had already taken care of the kitchen (my hero) so I picked up my office, the living room, and the bathroom. After that, I walked to the nearby coffee shop to grab an iced coffee, before heading across the street to get a pedicure.
I normally tend towards teals, blues, greens, or natural colors for my pedicures. Today however, I was drawn to a pretty light purple. It reminded me of Easter and spring, and fertility. It’s nice to do something different now and then. 😉
I sort of love how they turned out.
I still need to put away clothes in our bedroom and vacuum, and clean out the fridge. I may even do a bit of meal prep if it doesn’t get too late. My husband is out with a friend, and it will be nice to get things done now so I can enjoy my restful weekend.
I didn’t think anything was going to make me feel optimistic about this cycle, but I was wrong. The news about the follicles really perked me up, and I find myself filled with a significant amount of excitement once again. To protect myself, I always feel like I should stay guarded…but it certainly feels a lot better to feel joy and happiness in the days leading up to and immediately following my IUI.
My dearest wish is that this cycle will be the one; that we will get our miracle and start our (human) family.
March has always been a big deal to me. I love Saint Patrick’s day, my birthday, and spring. I really hope March will bring us a bit of magic this year, and the best belated birthday gift I could ever hope for.