“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”
I went in for my ultrasound yesterday. I was a bit anxious for this appointment, because the results would indicate my progress on the medicine, and determine the date for our next round of intrauterine insemination. I wasn’t worried about whether or not the Letrozole was working. In my last two IUI attempts, I didn’t seem to have any problems producing healthy eggs, and I KNEW the Letrozole was working.
I could feel it.
My right ovary had been bothering me for a few days. It wasn’t this terrible pain, like I felt on the Clomid; but more like super ovulation pains. I could tell the medicine was doing it’s job, so I was not surprised to learn that I had developed a strong follicle on my right side. I was a bit surprised to learn that I had an equally good follicle on my left side. The ultrasound tech took some measurements, and seemed genuinely happy with the progress I was making. She also asked me a bit about my surgery, and how I healed up post op.
I got dressed when she was finished, and while I was changing she further analyzed my results. She told me that I could come in for IUI Wednesday or Thursday, but she seemed more confident with Thursday. I am already off on Thursday (and Friday for that matter), so I was perfectly fine with this information. We go in at 8:00am on Thursday morning, and I am actually supposed to take my Ovidrel shot any minute now.
Just a few days ago, I wasn’t very excited about this new round. I was still feeling a bit negative about the whole process, and If I am being honest, I was afraid. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, only to have them crushed in two weeks. Since that time, something shifted in my brain. I’m not sure what happened, but I am finding myself getting really excited about this round. I am calmer now than I have ever been before, and I’m suddenly super optimistic again. This worries me a bit, because part of me is still terrified of getting too hopeful. I can’t help it though. Something feels different this time…I feel different.
It’s been a long time since I have felt such hope. Over a year…maybe longer. I’m still scared, but negativity hasn’t been working out so well for me.
So what the hell? This cycle, I’m gonna choose hope, positivity, and excitement. Let’s see where that gets me.
Have a lovely night!