“One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time.” 
~ John Wanamaker

 
I’ve been laying low the past couple of days. I have not had anything positive to say, so I chose to not say anything at all. 

I feel that I am not so much living my life, but going through the motions. I get out of bed (reluctantly) every morning, only because I know that I must. I leave the house, pretty much only for work, because I know we need the money. I don’t even really have a drive to eat. 

This morning, I didn’t eat anything until about 11:15, and that was only because I was feeling weak. I have low blood sugar, so getting shaky and developing a headache was the only reason I remembered to put food in my stomach. 

I am both excited and anxious for our doctor’s appointment on Wednesday. I’m not prepared for more bad news, and I am terrified of the surgery I know that I need. I’m excited, because I know that getting answers, good or bad, will help me along the process to grieving and moving on. 

I’m heartbroken and shattered, but I’m going to keep getting through each day…until hopefully it gets a little easier. I’m looking for joy in even the smallest things, and hoping for a brighter tomorrow. 

~S